R.A.O.K. Without the "R" is still "A.O.K."!
I received the following letter from a friend and colleague whom I admire tremendously. She took my birthday request for random acts of kindness so seriously that she ended up distilling the idea right down to its essence- an act of kindness, even if it isn't "random", is still an "act of kindness". :-)
I am so grateful that she's given me the "go ahead" to share her letter with you- I hope you enjoy it as much as I did- I am lucky to have such versatile friends- they morph into role models like superheroes, just when you need 'em :-)! Here's the letter:
Mainely Random
Dear Jenn,
Happy Birthday! This
weekend Bob and I vacationed alone (first time in 25 years) in Camden,
Maine. We spent five wonderful days
sightseeing, hiking and enjoying the beautiful Maine coastline. The fact that your birthday request for
(RAOK) coincided with our vacation was both comical and beneficial. For some strange reason Bob and I became very
silly about all the potentially missed opportunities or failed attempts at RAOK
and realized we’re novices at this.
Maybe it was because like everything else I over analyzed it and turned
it into a challenge to design the most random and kindest act possible. Or possibly it’s just the fact that we are
both oblivious to what’s going on around us half the time. Either way, it took on a life of its own and
I joked about how another woman had come between us. (a.k.a. Jenn ).
Day 1 – Driving to Camden, Maine
Bob –
“How about paying for tolls?”
Sue –
“On the Mass Turnpike each person’s toll amount is different, the other
tolls….too simple…keep driving.”
Day 2 - Hiking at Camden State Forest
We pull into the parking lot and a young couple asks for
change for $20.00. Without question Bob
searches his wallet, asks me for any singles and we exchange currency with the
couple. Before pulling out of the lot
the couple informed us that there was a voluntary entrance fee of $3.00. As they continue to leave it dawns on us that
we could pay for them. I stopped the
car.
Sue –
“We’d like to pay for you.”
Young
woman – “That’s O.K., we already paid and were just looking for change because
we used up all our singles.”
Sue –
“Oh.”
At this point because she was looking at me rather oddly, I
felt compelled to explain about the RAOK birthday request. Young woman smiles, and quickly drives away. Bob and I laugh about how it may not be as
easy as it sounds.
When we reach the peak of Bald Mount a middle aged couple
asked us to take a picture of them. Random on their behalf, Kind on ours –
DOESN’T COUNT.
Day 3 – Full day trip to Bar Harbor and Acadia
National Park
The drive is about an hour and a half from the Inn. Thirty minutes into the drive we come to a
kindness crossroads.
Bob –
“I thought of another random act we could have done. There was a woman pushing
a cart filled with bottles alongside the road.
We should have pulled over and given her $20.00 to use in addition to
the bottle returns.”
Sue –
“That’s a great idea. Where is she?”
Bob –
“It was a while ago and she was walking on the opposite side of the road.”
Sue –
“Huh? Maybe Jenn would have turned around…….never mind…keep driving.”
Acadia National Park Visitor Center – I enter the ladies
restroom and proceed to take an unoccupied stall. A young woman stops me to say there is not
toilet paper in it. The next stall opens
and becomes available, she looks at me and I encourage her to go ahead of me
(kind of counts). She enters the stall only to pop out instantly with a large
handful of toilet paper for me to use in the other unoccupied stall.
“Yikes! That’s a wash! (or should I say flush) I’ve
got to step it up!”
Upon rejoining Bob outside I share with him my
encounter. We have a good chuckle and
decide to get serious.
Our hike up Cadillac Mountain was spectacular. There were multiple opportunities for us to
graciously stand aside and let groups of hikers return down the path giving
them the right of way. Which Bob and I
did enthusiastically and although polite I feel this didn’t count at all.
After a long tiring day we decided to postpone dining in the
Bar Harbor area. This resulted in a
number of choice places closing before we finally arrived in the Camden
area. Finally by 9 P.M. we settled on a
casual somewhat rowdy establishment that served late night meals. Neither of us was actively looking for a RAOK
when I overheard two women at a neighboring table mention they needed to move
seats. Apparently they were searching
for a new hotel on their IPAD and it required charging. As one woman glanced in our direction she
said to her friend, I see an outlet over there. Immediately I sprang into action.
Sue -“We’d be happy to switch
tables with you.”
Lady - “Oh, no dear, that’s awfully
nice but we’ll just move to the corner.
Our hotel plans fell through and we need to search for a place to stay.”
Now I know what you’re thinking because
it crossed my mind just once and briefly at that. I’m just not ready for that
level of commitment. Perfectly random as
it might be.
Day 4 - Toured Rockland, Owls Head and Port Clyde
- SUCCESS AT LAST !
The first lighthouse (our favorite)
was in Rockland. It was a one mile walk over the granite breakwater to the
lighthouse. There were beautiful views,
a resident seagull named George and free admittance. At the second lighthouse in Owl’s Head a
young couple with a small child was preparing for a photo shoot.
Sue
– “Would you like me to take a picture of all of you?”
Young
dad – “No, we’re all set.”
Bob
– “Maybe we give off a stalkerish vibe.”
Before touring the third lighthouse
at Port Clyde we stopped for an ice cream break. Upon completion of our order another couple
about our age enters the village shop.
As the young girl proceeds to give me change for my twenty I lean over
and ask her to use the rest to pay for the couples order. CHA CHING!!!!!! They were very surprised. The man looked dumbfounded until we gave him
a brief explanation. He and his wife
thanked us, wished us a great day and commented that they would be sure to pay
it forward.
Day 5 - Trip home – stop off in Freeport for
shopping break
We enjoyed a few hours of aimless
shopping easily acquiring a little something for our grown kids at home dog
sitting. Now on a RAOK high, I bought a
$5.00 gift card at Dunkin Donuts in Brunswick, Maine but was too chicken to
give it to the elderly couple that pulled in after us so I made Bob do it. While shopping in Freeport, the feeling
continued. Maybe it was because at this point we were so relaxed or possibly it
is just contagious. But I felt compelled to hold doors, smile a lot and thank
numerous salespeople for their help. Around
2:30 I turned to Bob and said, “I’ve had enough. My kindness quotient is really
dwindling. Are you ready to go home?”
We arrived home around 6:30
P.M. The drive went smoothly and Bob
paid for cars behind us along the Maine Turnpike.
In conclusion, Bob and I decided we
are definitely random and mostly kind but rarely randomly kind. All in all our vacation together was
wonderful. Your birthday request was an
interesting addition providing us many opportunities to giggle about failed
attempts and potential random acts but more importantly we tried to focus on
being kind whether random or not. At one
point during the five days Bob commented on how he was beginning to notice and
edge to my voice. “I know, I said. I think all this kindness is making me
crabby. It’s taking a lot of extra
energy to squelch some of my typical negative barbs. Give me some more time.”
Hopefully by now you have
understood that our vacation journal was meant to amuse you and also let you
know that we thoroughly enjoyed completing your birthday request. I dare say we even got a little something out
of it ourselves.
Next year…………..YOU’RE GETTING A
GIFT CARD TO BARNES AND NOBLE (JK)
Love,
Bob and Sue
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